"If you think you know what the hell is going on, you’re probably full of shit."

"I mean… Look, I know I’m not like other people, I know I can’t… feel sympathy for other people. But I’m still human."

If I could count my problems/issues on one hand, then I would probably be the happiest person you’d ever see, but….that is not the case (unfortunately). See that’s problem number 1: my innumerable amount of problems… (or am I being redundant?)

Number 2: My hair doesn’t grow fast enough. I want it long. Why won’t it just grow out already? I feel like I have been waiting for it to for THE longest time, but, in reality, it’s only been maybe… 3 months?…. Well since I decided I would grow it out at least.

Number 3: I have an addiction to online shopping..or just shopping in general. I wouldn’t have this problem if it weren’t for the amount of money I currently make at my job, not that I don’t enjoy that money… BUT I get paid and spend it all in like a week. It’s very, very sad… I’ll be in therapy soon… Retail therapy that is.

Number 4: This problem goes back to my redundancy problem earlier. It’s so easy to be redundant.. For instance: “Hey you, stand up.” or “Hey you, sit down.” if you think about it… Up is the only way to go when you stand, and down is the only way to go when you sit. That annoys me because I’m a total grammar freak, and I forget the redundancy of those sayings, and others, and it just causes problems.

Number 5: insomnia. It is 3:03, and I am wide awake telling my problems to a website. That’s a problem in a problem. But back to insomnia.. I’m not diagnosed with it, I am fairly certain that I have a sleeping problem. This is when you need Advil pm. It’s magic in a pill. And everyone loves magic pills…..

Number 6: This makes problem six, which will cause me to have another problem (see number 7).. I have a serious commitment problem. To myself and my goals. I can’t stick to a goal for longer than a week. Either I always aim too high or I’m just lazy. I’m thinking the latter….sigh……

Number 7: ah… Well the reason that I have this seventh problem is because I have already passed the number of problems that I can fit on one hand. 5.. The magic number 5. I don’t even like that number. Maybe that’s why I am on problem 7…… Weird.

WELL goodnight & thank you for reading my stupid spiel about unimportant things you probably didn’t care to know about.

drunkenphilosophy:

the greatest mistake a person can make is trying to be someone else. be true to your fucking self.

it’s rather annoying…..

Rules 4 Livin’

1. Never panic. Stop, breathe, think.
2. No one is thinking about you. They’re thinking about themselves, just like you. 
3. Never change haircut or color before an important event.
4. Nothing is either as bad or good as it seems.
5. Do as you would be done by, e.g. thou shalt not kill.
6. It is better to buy one expensive thing that you really like than several cheap ones that you only quite like.
7. Hardly anything matters: if you get upset, ask yourself, “Does it really matter?”
8. The key to success lies in how you pick yourself up from failure.
9. Be honest and kind.
10. Only buy clothes that make you feel like doing a small dance.
11. Trust your instincts, not your overactive imagination.
12. When overwhelmed by disaster, check if it’s really a disaster by doing the following: (a) think, “Oh, fuck it,” (b) look on the bright side, and if that doesn’t work, look on the funny side. If neither of the above works then maybe it is a disaster so turn to items 1 and 4.
13. Don’t expect the world to be safe or life to be fair.

Helen Fielding